{"id":2767,"date":"2025-06-10T07:34:30","date_gmt":"2025-06-10T02:04:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/?p=2767"},"modified":"2025-06-10T07:34:38","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T02:04:38","slug":"gurujis-comedy-news-bulletin-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/2025\/06\/10\/gurujis-comedy-news-bulletin-3\/","title":{"rendered":"GURUJI\u2019s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\ud83d\ude0e<\/strong><\/a> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02GURUJI\u2019s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India\u2019s Super News Show!\u201d \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> Funny Headlines !<\/em><\/strong> <\/strong>\ud83c\udfad English Masala Edition \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udce3 Dear friends, \ud83e\udd39\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\udce2<\/a>) \ud83d\udc53<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m your Guruji \u2013 here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! \ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc53 Read it. \ud83d\ude02 Laugh it. \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f Share it. \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f\ud83d\udcfa

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83e\udde0\ud83d\ude02”Choose happiness today and every day” \ud83c\udfad\ud83d\udce2<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\udd13 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1c \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83e\udd2f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude1c\ud83d\ude02 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83e\udd13 \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3<\/strong> \u201c11 years of PM-led NDA \u2018golden period\u2019!\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23: \u201c11 years of nonstop gold digging\u2014no shovel required! \ud83e\udd47\ud83d\udee0\ufe0f\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNDA govt has delivered significant changes in 11 yrs, will do more: PM\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cThey fixed eleven years of problems\u2026 and they still have nine fingers to grab more responsibility! \ud83e\udd32\u2728\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGovt targeting 2034 to hold first \u2018one nation, one election\u2019\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cIndia\u2019s planning to vote once\u2026 in 2034\u2014great, all I have to do now is remember to remain alive! \ud83d\uddf3\ufe0f\ud83d\udd70\ufe0f\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cArmy to get new air\u2011defence boost with \u20b930,000\u202fcr QR\u2011SAM deal\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cBuilding a sky\u2011shield for \u20b930,000\u202fcr\u2026 because they\u2019re tired of rogue pigeons dropping surprises! \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udeab\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cStarlink to launch in India with \u20b93,000 monthly plans, \u20b933,000 setup cost\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cSpace internet is coming\u2014for \u20b93k\/month plus \u20b933k setup. That\u2019s one small payment for man, one giant bill for mankind! \ud83d\udcb8\ud83c\udf0c\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIndia reduces tobacco use through stringent measures.\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cIndia said \u2018No more smoke\u2019\u2014funny, now cigarettes are filing for unemployment benefits! \ud83d\udead\ud83d\udcc9\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYoung Indians want to retire early\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cYoung Indians want to retire early\u2014before they figure out rent is whack! \ud83c\udfd6\ufe0f\ud83d\udca4\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMoscow offers New Delhi Su\u201157E fighter + full software + domestic build rights.\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cRussia\u2019s set to send planes, codes, and permission to DIY. Coming soon: Build\u2011it\u2011yourself fighter kits! \ud83d\udee0\ufe0f\u2708\ufe0f\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cModi government\u2019s 11 years will be written in golden letter, says JP Nadda\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201c11 years in golden ink? Hope someone got the glitter bill! \ud83d\udd8b\ufe0f\u2728\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRupee gains to \u20b985.60 amid RBI moves, weak dollar.\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cRupee hitting \u20b985.60\u2014take that, dollar! Now your money loses weight like my weekend diet! \ud83d\udcaa\ud83d\udcb0\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cApple under pressure to shine after AI stumble.\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cApple tripped over AI\u2014bring out the bandages and flashy keynote to make it walk again! \ud83c\udf4e\ud83e\udd16\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMS Dhoni inducted into ICC Hall of Fame.\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cCaptain Cool\u2019s in the Hall of Fame\u2014now he\u2019s an official cricket ten-thousandaire! \ud83c\udfcf\ud83c\udf96\ufe0f\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMarkets end higher for 4th straight session: Nifty above 25,100, Sensex up 280 points.\u201d<\/strong>:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cMarkets up again\u2014Nifty and Sensex are doing the cha-cha-cha\u2014when in doubt, dance through the data! \ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\udc83\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCOVID\u201119 surges in India: Active reports near 6,500\u2011mark; Kerala & Gujarat worst hit.\u201d<\/strong>
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cCOVID\u2019s back with ~6,500 cases\u2014Kerala and Gujarat getting VIP surprises. No thank you! \ud83e\udda0\ud83d\ude37\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 \ud83c\udfad<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIAS officer caught red\u2011handed for taking \u20b910\u202flakh bribe in Odisha.\u201d<\/strong>:        Guruji<\/strong> \ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83d\ude4f\ud83e\udd23:  \u201cIAS bhaiya got caught with \u20b910\u202flakh bribe sticky notes\u2014now accepting resumes for honest replacements! \ud83d\udc6e\ud83d\udcbc\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\udd13 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1c \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83e\udd2f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude1c\ud83d\ude02 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83e\udd13 \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udce2 “Stay informed, stay hilarious \u2013 Guruji guarantees no boredom!”<\/em> \ud83d\udca5\ud83c\udf89<\/p>\n\n\n\n

~ Yours,
Guruji<\/strong> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude07\ud83d\udce2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay connected with amazinglifeblog.com\u2014where news meets positivity! <\/strong>\ud83d\ude80\u2728<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thanks for reading,<\/strong> \ud83d\ude80<\/strong> <\/strong> !<\/strong> <\/strong>\ud83c\udf1f<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

KaMaRaJ<\/strong> <\/strong>\ud83c\udf08\ud83e\udd17\u2764\ufe0f<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

vasantham.kamaraj@gmail.com<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please visit my website: amazinglifeblog.com<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

aitamilnadu.blogspot.com<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

& erkamaraj.blogspot.com for Mind blowing articles.<\/strong>\ud83d\udca1<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\ude02GURUJI\u2019s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India\u2019s Super News Show!\u201d \ud83d\ude0e Funny Headlines ! \ud83c\udfad English Masala Edition \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f \ud83d\udce3 Dear friends, \ud83e\udd39\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 I\u2019m your Guruji \u2013 here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! \ud83d\ude04 \ud83d\udc53 Read it. \ud83d\ude02 Laugh it. \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f Share it. \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f\ud83d\udcfa \ud83e\udde0\ud83d\ude02”Choose happiness today […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2748,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"11 years of PM-led NDA 'golden period', \nNDA govt has delivered significant changes in 1 1 yrs, \n","jetpack_seo_html_title":"11 years of PM-led NDA 'golden period', \n\n","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"11 years of PM-led NDA 'golden period', \nNDA govt has delivered significant changes in 1 1 yrs, \nGovt targeting 2034 to hold 1st \u2018one nation, one election,\n","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,42,58,59,60],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-self-improvement","category-entertainment","category-humour","category-lifestyle-entertainment"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/J-66.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2767","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2767"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2767\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2768,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2767\/revisions\/2768"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2767"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2767"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2767"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}