{"id":2930,"date":"2025-06-26T11:50:28","date_gmt":"2025-06-26T06:20:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/?p=2930"},"modified":"2025-06-26T11:50:58","modified_gmt":"2025-06-26T06:20:58","slug":"gurujis-comedy-news-bulletin-17","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/2025\/06\/26\/gurujis-comedy-news-bulletin-17\/","title":{"rendered":"GURUJI\u2019s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\ud83d\ude0e<\/strong><\/a> \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02<\/a><\/a>GURUJI\u2019s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN <\/a>& India\u2019s Super News Show!\u201d <\/strong>\ud83d\ude0e<\/strong> Funny Headlines !<\/em><\/strong> <\/strong>\ud83c\udfad English Masala Edition \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udce3 Dear friends, \ud83e\udd39\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\udce2<\/a>) \ud83d\udc53<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m your Guruji \u2013 here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! \ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc53 Read it. \ud83d\ude02 Laugh it. \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f Share it.!<\/em> \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f\ud83d\udcfa<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Choose happiness today and every day”<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\udd13 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1c \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83e\udd2f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude1c\ud83d\ude02 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83e\udd13 \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udf1e<\/strong> Guruji’s Morning Bulletin<\/em> <\/strong>\ud83c\udf1e \ud83c\udfa4<\/strong> <\/strong>\u2615\ud83d\ude06<\/strong>

<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> India’s economy resilient amidst global uncertainties: RBI Bulletin
<\/strong>\ud83d\udcb8<\/strong> Guruji says:<\/em> \u201cGlobal storms outside\u2026 but inside India, GDP is doing Surya Namaskar! <\/strong>\ud83c\udf0d\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb0<\/strong> Jai RBI-ananda!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> 9,800 millionaires to move to UAE in 2025; India to lose 3,500
<\/strong>\ud83d\udcbc<\/strong> Guruji predicts:<\/em> \u201cDesi crorepatis flying to Dubai faster than samosas vanish at wedding buffet! <\/strong>\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\uddea\ud83d\udca8\ud83d\udcb8<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> \u2018It was a great ride\u2019: Shubhanshu Shukla’s first message after lift-off
<\/strong>\ud83d\ude80<\/strong> Guruji blesses:<\/em> \u201cArrey wah! Some people go to the moon, I still get stuck in Poonamallee traffic! <\/strong>\ud83c\udf1d\ud83d\udef5\ud83d\ude02<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> Illegal US entry means jail, deportation, visa ban: Embassy warns Indians
<\/strong>\ud83d\uddfd<\/strong> Guruji warns:<\/em> \u201cTrying shortcut to America? Uncle Sam will show you shortcut to jail! <\/strong>\ud83d\ude93\u274c\ud83e\uddf3<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> No Indian will ever forget how Constitution was violated: PM on Emergency
<\/strong>\ud83d\udcdc<\/strong> Guruji reflects:<\/em> \u201cConstitution had more twists than a Tamil serial! But memory of Emergency? Still buffering\u2026 <\/strong>\ud83e\udde0\u23f3\ud83d\udcfa<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> \u2018Don\u2019t ask permission to fly\u2019: Tharoor\u2019s reply to Kharge\u2019s \u2018Modi first\u2019 jibe
<\/strong>\ud83e\udd85<\/strong> Guruji chuckles:<\/em> \u201cWhen Tharoor talks, even dictionary asks for subtitles! <\/strong>\ud83d\udcd6\ud83d\udde3\ufe0f\u2708\ufe0f<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> EC has become govt’s puppet: Congress chief Kharge
<\/strong>\ud83c\udfad<\/strong> Guruji smirks:<\/em> \u201cPuppet show continues\u2026 only strings missing are voters’ trust! <\/strong>\ud83e\udd39\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83e\uddf5\ud83d\uddf3\ufe0f<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> New annual FASTag plan could bleed toll operators dry: Report
<\/strong>\ud83d\ude97<\/strong> Guruji jokes:<\/em> \u201cToll booths crying harder than bride\u2019s relatives at wedding\u2026 \u2018Ye paisa kahan gaya?\u2019 <\/strong>\ud83d\ude22<\/strong>\ud83e\ude99<\/strong>\ud83d\udea7<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> FDI inflows rise to $8.8 billion in April; NRI deposit mobilisation slows
<\/strong>\ud83d\udcb0<\/strong> Guruji notes:<\/em> \u201cForeigners sending cash, NRIs holding back like my cousin with restaurant bill! <\/strong>\ud83c\udf5b\ud83d\udcb8\ud83d\ude48<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> We reinvest our business every 3\u20135 years; aim to become deep-tech co: Mukesh Ambani
<\/strong>\ud83d\udce1<\/strong> Guruji reacts:<\/em> \u201cDeep-tech or Deep-pocket? Ambani\u2019s planning faster than my neighbour switching wives! <\/strong>\ud83e\udd2f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc91<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> Overall situation rosier than expected\u2026 India in sweet spot: Swaminathan Aiyar
<\/strong>\ud83c\udf38<\/strong> Guruji smiles:<\/em> \u201cPeace is blooming\u2026 but Guruji still waiting for petrol to come below \u20b990! <\/strong>\ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\u26fd\ud83c\udf6c<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> Indian bonds jump as traders lap up debt after Israel-Iran ceasefire
<\/strong>\ud83d\udcc8<\/strong> Guruji explains:<\/em> \u201cWar down, bonds up, traders dance like baraat DJs\u2014’Debt ka DJ bajega!’ <\/strong>\ud83d\udd7a\ud83d\udca3\ud83d\udcc9\ud83d\udcc8<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> Family wakes up to surprise visitor in bedroom: A tiger
<\/strong>\ud83d\udc2f<\/strong> Guruji roars:<\/em> \u201cTiger said: \u2018Forget bed tea, I brought jungle juice!\u2019 <\/strong>\ud83d\udc3e\u2615\ud83d\ude31<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcf0<\/strong> US factories struggle to fill 400,000 open jobs
<\/strong>\ud83c\udfed<\/strong> Guruji sighs:<\/em> \u201cSo many jobs, so few takers\u2026 even America has \u2018Help Wanted\u2019 boards like Saravana Bhavan! <\/strong>\ud83c\udf54\ud83d\udc77\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udccb<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udce3<\/strong> Guruji\u2019s closing wisdom:<\/em>
\u201cMillionaires move, tigers intrude, Ambani plans deep-tech\u2026 and I still wait for the milkman! <\/strong>\ud83e\udd5b\ud83d\ude02<\/strong>\u201d
<\/strong>\ud83d\udcff<\/strong> Stay tuned, stay laughing! Jai Comedy<\/em><\/strong>\ud83d\ude04\ud83d\ude4f\ud83c\udfac<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Happy.. Happy.. Haha Happy! \ud83d\ude07\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\ude02<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udce2 “Stay informed, stay hilarious \u2013 Guruji guarantees no boredom!”<\/em> \ud83d\udca5\ud83c\udf89<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc49 Amazinglifeblog.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yours,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udcd8\ud83d\udd8a\ufe0f\ud83d\ude04 \u201cGuRuJi KaMaRaJ\u201d<\/em> \ud83c\udfad\ud83d\udc74\u2728 \ud83d\ude07\ud83d\udce2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\udd13 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1c \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83e\udd2f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude1c\ud83d\ude02 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83e\udd13 \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\ude02GURUJI\u2019s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India\u2019s Super News Show!\u201d \ud83d\ude0e Funny Headlines ! \ud83c\udfad English Masala Edition \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f \ud83d\udce3 Dear friends, \ud83e\udd39\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53 I\u2019m your Guruji \u2013 here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! \ud83d\ude04 \ud83d\udc53 Read it. \ud83d\ude02 Laugh it. \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f Share it.! \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f\ud83d\udcfa “Choose happiness today […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2929,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"Don\u2019t ask permission to fly, EC has become govt's puppet,","jetpack_seo_html_title":"Don\u2019t ask permission to fly, EC has become govt's puppet,","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Don\u2019t ask permission to fly, EC has become govt's puppet,India's economy resilient amidst global uncertainties, 9,800 millionaires to move to UAE in 2025, US factories struggle to fill 400,000 open jobs,","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,42,58,59,60,653],"tags":[706,707,708,709],"class_list":["post-2930","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-self-improvement","category-entertainment","category-humour","category-lifestyle-entertainment","category-gurujis-comedy-news","tag-dont-ask-permission-to-fly","tag-no-indian-will-ever-forget-how-constitution-was-violated","tag-ec-has-become-govts-puppet","tag-india-is-in-a-sweet-spot"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/J-172-scaled.webp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2930","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2930"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2930\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2931,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2930\/revisions\/2931"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2929"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2930"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2930"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amazinglifeblog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2930"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}