“Choose happiness today and every day”<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\udd13 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1c \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83e\udd2f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude1c\ud83d\ude02 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83e\udd13 \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\ude04\ud83d\udcf0 Guruji\u2019s Comedy Bulletin \u2013 5th July 2025 Edition<\/strong> \u265f\ufe0f “World champion D Gukesh bags Rapid title at 2025 Grand Chess Tour Zagreb”<\/strong> \ud83d\ude97 “India proposes tit-for-tat retaliatory strike against $725 million US auto tariffs at WTO”<\/strong> \u2708\ufe0f “Delhi-bound Air India flight delayed as pilot collapses before take-off”<\/strong> \ud83c\udf0e “PM Modi in Trinidad and Tobago: A homecoming as Global South rises”<\/strong> \ud83d\udd75\ufe0f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f “NHRC flags police lapses in Bhopal love trap racket”<\/strong> \ud83d\udcb0 “India\u2019s forex reserves rise to USD 705 billion”<\/strong> \ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3 “\u2018India never negotiates trade deals on deadlines\u2019: Piyush Goyal”<\/strong> \ud83d\udcca “India to remain among fastest growing economies”<\/strong> \ud83c\udde8\ud83c\uddf3 “EAM to visit China \u2013 first trip since standoff”<\/strong> \ud83c\udfda\ufe0f “Manipur to close all relief camps, resettle inmates”<\/strong> \ud83d\udc69\u200d\u2708\ufe0f “After IAF, Navy gets first woman fighter pilot”<\/strong> \ud83d\uded0 “Govt committed to protecting freedom of religion: MEA”<\/strong> \ud83e\udde1 “Sindoor shows forces, netas committed to Swaraj: Shah”<\/strong> \ud83c\udf10 “FM calls for Global South unity to tackle uncertainties”<\/strong> \ud83d\udd2b “\u2018One border, three adversaries; China tested weapons\u2019 \u2013 Army Deputy Chief”<\/strong>
\ud83c\udfa9 Your favourite laugh guru Guruji<\/em> is back with spice, sarcasm, and samosas! \ud83e\udd73<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Gukesh dropped lightning on the chessboard! \u26a1\u265f\ufe0f
His opponents now scream \u2014 \u201cCheckmate happened, bro!\u201d<\/em> \ud83d\ude02\ud83d\udc51<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 America said, \u201cStop your exports!\u201d
India replied, \u201cAlright buddy, now dodge our jugaad-style Maruti cars!\u201d \ud83d\udefb\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3\ud83d\ude02<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 The pilot said \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m not flying, I\u2019m frying!\u201d<\/em> \ud83d\udd25\ud83d\ude05
Guruji\u2019s advice: Never skip breakfast, especially if you’re flying a plane!<\/strong> \ud83c\udf73\u2708\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 PM declared: \u201cThe new boss of the Global South has arrived!\u201d \ud83d\ude0e\ud83c\udf0d
Though he visited Trinidad, his heart was watching chess in Chennai! \ud83d\ude02\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Police: \u201cIt\u2019s a love case? Who will investigate?\u201d
NHRC: \u201cPlease move aside, we\u2019ll call CID!\u201d \ud83d\ude11\ud83d\udc98\ud83d\udd0d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji\u2019s tip: Reserves are great\u2026 but what about our EMIs?<\/em> \ud83d\ude29\ud83d\udcb8
India: \u201cWe\u2019ve got dollars\u2026 but when will Sensex find a soulmate?\u201d \ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\ude02<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Goyal ji: \u201cYour deadlines are yours. We go by \u2018Auspicious Timings\u2019!\u201d \ud83d\udcc6\ud83d\ude0e
USA: \u201cTime is money.\u201d
India: \u201cCulture is king!\u201d \ud83d\udc51\ud83c\udf0d\ud83d\ude02<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 World: \u201cHow\u2019s the growth going?\u201d
India: \u201cSome GDP, some hacks, and lots of chai \u2013 that\u2019s how!\u201d \u2615\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji: \u201cIs this Mission Peace or just Mission Spicy Noodles?\u201d \ud83c\udf5c\ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f
We\u2019ll know soon whether the border gives us sweets or more stand-offs! \ud83d\ude02\ud83c\udfd4\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Government: \u201cCamps are closing, time to return home!\u201d
People: \u201cJust make sure there\u2019s Wi-Fi at home, and we\u2019re good!\u201d \ud83c\udfe0\ud83d\udcf6\ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji: \u201cNow that\u2019s<\/em> what I call fast and fearless!<\/em>\u201d \u2708\ufe0f\ud83c\udf0a
Enemies: \u201cOh no! Even the seas aren\u2019t safe now!\u201d \ud83d\ude02\ud83d\udcaa\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji: \u201cPray as you wish \u2014 but please don\u2019t spread fake forwards!\u201d \ud83d\ude4f\ud83d\udcf1
India says: \u201cTemple or tweet \u2013 both need peace!\u201d \ud83d\ude02\ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji: \u201cSindoor stands for Swaraj? Now even lipstick might get political meaning!\u201d \ud83d\udc84\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3
Leaders: \u201cIt\u2019s fashion and<\/em> patriotism now!\u201d \ud83d\ude02\ud83c\udf96\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji: \u201cTime to make a Global South WhatsApp group!\u201d \ud83d\udcf1\ud83c\udf0d
Everyone\u2019s asking: \u201cWho\u2019s the admin? Modi ji or Mr. Brazil?\u201d \ud83d\ude02\ud83c\udf0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Guruji: \u201cChina\u2019s weapons and Bollywood trailers \u2013 both love to be tested at the border!\u201d \ud83d\udca3\ud83c\udfac
India: \u201cTesting is done. Now it\u2019s time for the grand release!\u201d \ud83d\udcaa\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf3\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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