\ud83d\udce3 Dear friends, \ud83e\udd39\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\udce2) \ud83d\udc53<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m your Guruji \u2013 here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc53 Read it. \ud83d\ude02 Laugh it. \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f Share it.!<\/em> \ud83c\udf36\ufe0f\ud83d\udcfa<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\udd13 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong>\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1c \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83e\udd2f \ud83e\udd74 \ud83d\ude0f \ud83e\udd2a \ud83d\ude1c\ud83d\ude02 \ud83e\uddd9\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/strong> \ud83e\udd13 \ud83d\ude0e \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\uddde\ufe0f Truth bombs wrapped in laughter!<\/em> \ud83c\udfa4\ud83d\ude02<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 \u201cFollow rules or be deported,\u201d US warns 2\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83d\ude97 Audi hits 5 sleeping on city pavement 3\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83e\uddd1\u200d\u2696\ufe0f \u2018Became CJI as someone saw something in me\u2019 4\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83c\udf0d Nations with worse rights records target India: Justice Kant 5\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 More people who probed Trump lose jobs 6\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83d\udcb0US customs duties cross $100bn in a financial year 7\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83c\uddf5\ud83c\uddf0 Pak PM says Army chief never sought presidency 8\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83d\udcda Clean is cool: What you read is what you eat 9\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83d\uded5 CM Yogi: Religious conversions a deep conspiracy \ud83d\udd1f \ud83c\udfad Opposition raps Amit Shah, BJP says propaganda busted 1\ufe0f\u20e31\ufe0f\u20e3 \ud83e\udd1d US, India talk trade deal to cut tariff below 20% \ud83d\ude04\ud83d\udcff <\/strong>Guruji\u2019s Comedy Wisdom Thoughts \u2014 Powered by Laughter & Ladoo Logic \ud83c\udf6c\ud83e\udde0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1\ufe0f\u20e3 “Don\u2019t chase success like your ex… It\u2019ll run faster!” \ud83c\udfc3\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc94\ud83d\udcbc 2\ufe0f\u20e3 “Mind is like Kitchen.. cleal it daily or it stinks!” \ud83e\udde0\ud83e\ude72\ud83e\udd22 3\ufe0f\u20e3 “Don\u2019t take life too seriously… Even God watches us like a reality show!” \ud83c\udfa5\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\udcfa 4\ufe0f\u20e3 “Love is blind… but marriage is the eye-opener!” \ud83d\udc40\ud83d\udc98\ud83d\ude35 5\ufe0f\u20e3 “Sleeping well is a spiritual achievement in this Wi-Fi world!” \ud83d\ude34\ud83d\udcf1\ud83d\udd0c 6\ufe0f\u20e3 “If you want to fly, first throw away your log kya kahenge<\/em> luggage!” \ud83c\udf92\ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f 7\ufe0f\u20e3 “Anger is like pressure cooker… whistle maar diya toh sab bhag gaya!” \ud83d\ude21\ud83e\udd75\ud83c\udf72 8\ufe0f\u20e3 “Mobile has screen lock, heart should have too!” \ud83d\udd10\ud83d\udc93\ud83d\udcf5 9\ufe0f\u20e3 “Happiness is free… but we search it in 5-star hotels!” \ud83c\udfe8\ud83d\ude02“Choose happiness today and every day” \ud83d\ude04<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u2708\ufe0fGuruji says: \u201cBreaking US laws? One-way ticket to Bye-Bye-istan<\/em>! \ud83d\ude05 Obey ya vacay\u2026 to your own country! \ud83e\uddf3\ud83d\udd7a\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cWhen luxury cars go rogue, even dreams get crushed! \ud83d\ude34\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83d\udca5 From sleep mode to hospital mode in 0.5 seconds! \ud83d\ude91\ud83d\udca4\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cCJI sir, they saw justice<\/em>, we saw mystery<\/em>. Who was this talent scout\u2014God or HR manager? \ud83d\ude07\ud83d\udd0d\ud83d\udcdc\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cWhen human rights violators start giving gyan<\/em> on human rights\u2014irony just filed a complaint<\/em>! \ud83d\udce2\ud83e\uddfe\ud83d\ude44\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cTrump effect: Investigate him and your job gets a Trump card<\/em>\u2014fired<\/em>! \ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcbc\ud83c\udfaf\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cUncle Sam\u2019s tax meter is like a desi auto meter\u2014always ticking up! \ud83d\udcb8\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\udcb5 \u2018Duty\u2019 has become \u2018Looty\u2019 \ud83d\ude1d\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cIn Pakistan, army chief doesn\u2019t seek presidency… because it automatically comes with the uniform<\/em>! \ud83c\udf96\ufe0f\ud83d\udc51\ud83e\udd23\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cRead garbage = eat garbage! \ud83d\uddde\ufe0f\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83c\udf72 Better read Guruji daily\u2014comedy full meals guaranteed! \ud83d\ude0b\ud83e\udd23\ud83d\udcd6\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cSome convert to Wi-Fi, some to new religion. But Yogi Ji says: \u2018No network switching allowed here!\u2019 \ud83d\udcf6\ud83d\ude4f\u26a0\ufe0f\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cThis is not politics, it\u2019s Netflix drama\u2014\u2018Desh ki Politics: Season 2024\u2019<\/em>! \ud83c\udfac\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udca5\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Guruji: \u201cTariff down, love up! \u2764\ufe0f Uncle Sam and Bharat Mata doing \u2018Give & Take\u2019 yoga<\/em>! \ud83e\uddd8\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udcbc\ud83d\udce6\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Sit calm. Meditate. Success has GPS\u2014It\u2019ll find you if you’re still. \ud83d\ude0c\ud83d\udccd<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Update thoughts, not just WhatsApp status!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Be the TRP booster, not the crying contestant!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Want peace? Get a headphone and a hobby, not a fight!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Put phone on airplane mode. Your soul needs to recharge too!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Carry confidence, not people\u2019s opinions!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Be cool like fridge. Store peace, not grudge!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Don\u2019t open your feelings for every wrong number!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc49 Go hug your pet, not your credit card bill!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n