📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
🌞😂 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin – Special Edition 🎤📜
👉 Presented with blessings, sarcasm, and a pinch of rasam powder! 🍲✨
📰 “Simplicity, Vision, Love For Nation. That Is Modi”
👉 Guruji: Arrey wah! 😎 Even Bollywood heroes need makeup, but Modiji is running the nation with just detergent-level simplicity! 🧼🇮🇳
📰 “Modi Changed Indian Politics”
👉 Guruji: Before him, politicians changed parties like T-shirts… now they change their Instagram bios to “Bhakt”! 😂📲
🎂 “PM Modi, 75, Longest-Serving Head of Govt”
👉 Guruji: At 75, common man struggles with BP and sugar test… but Modiji is still testing the opposition’s patience! 🤯🩺
📰 “Operation Sindoor will Resume if Pak Perpetrates Terror”
👉 Guruji: Pakistan should be careful… Sindoor is usually for marriage, but India applies it like final tika! 🔥💥
📰 “Bihar Polls: Larger, Coloured Photos on EVM”
👉 Guruji: Wah! Finally politicians will get passport-size photos in HD! Next step – selfie booth inside polling station! 📸🗳️
📰 “New India Enters Terror Den, Kills Them: Modi”
👉 Guruji: Earlier Indians entered neighbor’s house to borrow sugar… now they enter to return surgical strike! 💪⚔️
📰 “European Union Proposes New Strategic Agenda”
👉 Guruji: EU’s strategy = write 200 pages of rules… and still not decide what pizza topping to eat together! 🍕😂
📰 “NHAI Tightens Contract Rules”
👉 Guruji: Means… contractors can’t tighten their wallets with our money anymore! 😜🛣️
💡 “Always Stay Focused to Achieve Your Dream Life”
👉 Guruji: Yes beta… but if dream is about your crush marrying someone else… then please wake up immediately! 🤣💔
📰 “Tamil Nadu to Build New International City (2,000 acres)”
👉 Guruji: Chennai traffic will say, “Anna, finish old city first before building new one!” 🚦😂
📰 “Mother & Daughter Pregnant by One Man – Internet Stunned”
👉 Guruji: Arrey bhai! This is not family planning… this is family confusion! 😳👩👧➡️👶👶
🌱 “A Dream is like a Seed”
👉 Guruji: True… but remember, if seed is of brinjal, don’t expect mango shake! 🥭➡️🍆🤣
📰 “AI may boost global trade by 40% in 15 years”
👉 Guruji: Till then, AI is busy boosting only WhatsApp forwards and Instagram reels! 🤖📈😂
⚡️Guruji’s Blessing Punchline:
👉 Beta, dream big, live simple, and laugh louder than your EMI reminder! 💸🤣🙏
🌸😂 Guruji’s “Celebration of Life” Planning 🎉⚰️✨
👳♂️ Guruji walks on stage with a garland of ladoos instead of flowers
Step 1: Venue Selection 🏡⛪🌳
Don’t book a marriage hall – people may accidentally bring gifts thinking it’s a wedding. 🎁➡️⚰️
Park or beach is best… so if people cry, wind will blow away the tears. 🌊😭
Step 2: Dress Code 👗🕺
No black clothes… This is Celebration of Life, not Villain entry. 😈
Tell people: “Wear Hawai shirt and dance like Govinda” 🌺💃
Step 3: Food Menu 🍛🍧
Don’t serve just “sundal & tea”… This is not a temple prasadam queue! 🙏☕
Arrange biryani, ice cream, and filter coffee… So even ghosts will say, “Good choice da!” 👻🍨
Step 4: Music & Dance 🎶💃
Instead of violin sad tune 🎻😭, play Daler Mehndi’s “Tunak Tunak Tun”.
Audience will cry, laugh, and dance at the same time – Full emotional package! 😂💔🕺
Step 5: Story Sharing 📖🎤
Relatives usually give long boring speeches… STOP! ❌😴
Give them time limit: 2 minutes only.
Put a bell 🛎️ – if they cross time, play Manmatha Rasa song. 🎶🤣
Step 6: Games & Fun 🎲😂
Memory game: “What was the person’s favorite food?” Whoever answers wrong gets extra laddoo punishment. 🍩
Tambola with life events – “He once lost slipper in temple… Housefull!” 😂
Step 7: Final Punch 🌟🙏
End with fireworks 🎆 and balloon release 🎈, not with silence.
Guruji’s golden rule: “When you leave, leave with laughter echoing louder than tears!” 😂💞
👉 So friends, don’t call it farewell. Call it “Life’s Last Stand-up Show” 🎤🤣⚰️
Choose happiness today and every day
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
👉amazinglifeblog.com
Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
