🌞 “Breaking News with Blessings & Belly Laughs!” 😂🕉️
🦸♂️ Guruji Wisdom Starter:
“Don’t let the hero in your soul retire early. 💪😄 The world you dream of is not in Dubai… It’s inside you only — just needs better emotional network.📶💖”
🕊️ Gaza Peace Drama:
PM Modi welcomed the release of hostages after two long years 🙏.
Guruji says: “At last, peace has knocked on the door! 🚪 But please, someone open it before it changes its mind and goes to Switzerland! 🇨🇭😅”
⚖️ INDIA Bloc Skips JPC on Jailed Ministers:
Guruji chuckles: “They said no entry for jail stories… looks like the committee is allergic to handcuffs! 🔗🤣”
🧘♀️ Patience: Silent Rhythm of Fulfilment:
“Patience is like dosa batter, my dear — if you rush it, it won’t rise properly! 🥞😜”
🏃♂️ Life is Not a Race:
Guruji says: “Don’t run like you’re chasing a Chennai auto… Life is more like Carnatic music — enjoy the rhythm, not the speed! 🎵🚗😂”
🇺🇸 Trump on Middle East Peace:
“Trump declared the nightmare is over!” 😴
Guruji whispers: “Yes, now the dream begins — but please don’t ask who’s snoring! 🤣🛌”
🐘 BJP vs RJD – Scam Edition:
Guruji laughs: “They promised jobs and took land! Now even farmers are applying for the ‘Return to Sender’ policy! 📬🌾😂”
🍁 India-Canada Ties Improving:
“Both sides agreed to expand ties!”
Guruji: “Finally, Trudeau realised Indian tea is more peaceful than his tongue! ☕😄🇨🇦🇮🇳”
🐮 Lalu in Trouble Again:
CBI frames charges against Lalu & family 👨👩👧👦
Guruji sighs: “This family has more cases than my temple donation box has coins! 🪙😂”
💸 Rupee Weakens Against Dollar:
Guruji jokes: “The rupee went to the gym, saw the dollar’s muscles, and fainted! 🏋️♂️💤😆”
💘 Urban Singles Go Digital:
Guruji says: “Singles now swipe right faster than ATM cards! 💳❤️ But remember, beta — love is not an app update, it’s a lifelong download! 📲💞🤣”
🛢️ ONGC Launching Oil Trading in FY27:
Guruji predicts: “Good move! Soon we’ll trade oil, love, and gossip — all in one digital pipeline! ⛽💬😂”
🕯️ Spiritual Light in the Heart:
“When the heart shines, the world brightens!” 🌟
Guruji adds: “But if it flickers, don’t panic — maybe just low voltage of gratitude! ⚡😄💖”
🌈 Guruji’s Closing Blessing:
“Be the hero of your own story, not the villain of your laziness! 💪📖 Keep shining, keep smiling — the world is already short of light bulbs! 💡😂✨”
🎬🤣 Guruji Comedy Bulletin Special:
“Why Cinema Actors Want to Become Tamil Nadu Chief Minister!” 🌶️🕶️
Guruji says:
Aiyo da! 🎭 Once upon a time, actors just wanted to win Filmfare Awards… now they want to win Fort St. George! 🏰😂
Let’s decode this blockbuster plot twist 👇
🎥 1. From Silver Screen to Political Scene!
After years of shouting “En Vazhi Thani Vazhi!” (My way is a unique way) in movies… they actually believe it! 🤣
Guruji suspects they think CM chair is just another film set — only with free snacks and security Z+! 🍿🚔
💸 2. Salary Illa, Power Irukku!
Actors already have crores… but politics gives something bigger — “remote control over crores of people!” 😂
Why play “hero” for 3 hours when you can rule the whole state for 5 years! 🕴️📢
🗳️ 3. Fan Clubs → Vote Banks!
Earlier, fans screamed “Thalaivaa!” for movie tickets…
Now, the same fans scream it during election rallies! 😆
One poster change, and boom — from box office collection to ballot box connection! 🗳️🎬
📺 4. Lights, Camera… Manifesto!
Actors think running Tamil Nadu is like shooting a movie:
Script: Written by the party
Director: Hidden adviser
Hero: Himself
Villain: Opposition 😂
Only difference — no retake allowed! 😜
👑 5. Hero Worship Syndrome!
In Tamil Nadu, people don’t vote — they worship! 🙏
So, every actor dreams, “If I can play God on screen, why not in Secretariat?” 🏛️
Guruji says: “In politics, the first half is mass entry… second half, mass exit!” 💥🤣
🍿 6. CM = Cinema Manager!
Once they ruled theatres… now they want to manage the state drama! 🎭
But Guruji warns — politics is not Dolby Atmos… It’s Dolby Arguments! 🔊🔥
Final Punchline from Guruji:
“Actors think the Chief Minister post is a sequel to their superhit movie… but in politics, even a flop script can get re-released every 5 years!” 🤪🗳️
🎯 Moral of the Movie:
If you can act in front of the camera… You can act in front of voters, too! 😎
But remember — politics is the only movie where the public gives reviews daily! 😂📺
Choose Happiness Today And Every Day
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📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
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Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
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