🧙♂️😂GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India’s Super News Show!” 😎 Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️
📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢)
I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄
👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.
Because the world may burn 🔥… but news will always bring the masala! 🌶️📺
“Choose happiness today and every day”
From politics to paisa, India to the world – everything delivered with a smile and a spicy twist! 🌶️📰
Because news should not only inform your mind, but also tickle your funny bone! 🧠😂
So get ready – let’s dive into today’s headlines, the Guruji way!” 🎭📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
Sure Guruji! 😂 Here comes your “Guruji Comedy Bulletin” with news, gyaan, punchlines and full-on masala 🎙️💥👇
🧾 GST Collections Jump 16.4% YoY to ₹2.01 Lakh Cr in May
🧮 Guruji says: The government collected so much GST, even billionaires said, “Can we breathe now?” 😅
April was the highest? May said, “Hold my calculator!” 📊💰
🛩️ Russia Launches Biggest Drone Attack Yet – Ukraine
🎮 Guruji says: Putin activated drone mode! So many drones, even houseflies filed a complaint! 🪰🚫
👑 India’s Ultra-Rich to Rise 50% by 2028 – Fastest Globally
🤑 Guruji says: Soon we’ll have more billionaires than biryani varieties at a wedding! 💰🍛
Meanwhile Guruji still hunting for supermarket discounts… 😬🛒
✈️ India Becomes 3rd Largest Aviation Market – IATA
🛫 Guruji says: Planes are flying, airports are buzzing, and Guruji is still in line for a sleeper train! 🐢💤
Airlines now charging extra for oxygen… and imagination! 💸🫁
🐘 Tamil Nadu CM Says Opposition Party is Controlled by Another Party
👴 Guruji says: Politics is now like Netflix—same actors, different plot twists! 🎭📺
Today’s rival is tomorrow’s partner. Pass the popcorn! 🍿😄
👧🏻 Girls Shouldn’t Suppress Desires – Carrots in Danger!
🥕 Guruji says: If girls stay silent, stationery and vegetables go extinct! ✏️📉
Speak your mind before the poor carrot files a complaint! 😂
🧠 Microsoft Revamps Notepad – Adds Formatting & Hyperlinks
💻 Guruji says: Notepad glowed up! Even Word said, “Who’s the boss now?” 😎🖋️
Now break-up letters can be bold, underlined AND linked to a sad playlist! 💔🎵
💥 Ukraine’s Drone Strike Destroys 40+ Russian Aircraft
💣 Guruji says: Ukraine just went “Boom!” behind enemy lines!
Putin looked up and saw “Out of Stock” signs in the sky! 🛩️🚫
🔥 Minister Accuses Rival Leader of Vote Bank Politics
🎭 Guruji says: Politics is now officially more dramatic than reality TV! 📢📺
Next season: “Game of Votes – Who Will Cry First?” 😆
🧪 Elon Musk: ‘I Am Not Taking Drugs!’
🚀 Guruji says: Elon says no drugs—just rockets, robots, and random baby names! 👶🤖
NASA calls him; psychiatrists just watch silently. 😵💫
💔 Choose the Wrong Woman and You’re Doomed!
💥 Guruji says: Right woman = Jackpot. Wrong one = Bank account closed! 💳💔
Curves are good. Character is better. Peace is priceless! ✌️
🪽 Love Gives Wings, Control Clips Them
❤️ Guruji says: Love is fuel. Control is a cage.
Watch your love life like it’s a stock market—don’t let it crash! 📉💔
🌍 World Bank to Invest $40 Billion in Pakistan (2026–2035)
💰 Guruji says: The World Bank just dropped a fat cheque!
Let’s hope it doesn’t disappear like socks in a washing machine! 🧦💸
🧱 Brutal Life Builds Strong Men
💪 Guruji says: Breakups, betrayals, and broken phones—training for greatness! 📱💔➡️🦾
Pain is the real-life gym! Lift it! 🏋️
🧠 Mindset Is Everything – Don’t Be Average
🔥 Guruji says: You’re not born to just scroll reels and sip chai… Be a legend! 📱☕
Shortcuts? Even Google Maps says, “Rerouting to hard work!” 🛣️😤
💸 Focus on What Will Make You a Millionaire
🧲 Guruji says: Gossip earns zero. Grind earns millions. 🎯💼
Ignore opinions. Follow the money trail… but legally, please! 👀🤑
🎤 Guruji signs off:
Be like GST—keep rising!
Be like Notepad—keep upgrading!
And be like Ukraine—strike when needed! 😎🔥
📅 Back tomorrow with more jokes, gyaan and juice!
Say “Yes Guruji!” if you want this daily! 🕕✨
📢 Final Words by Guriji:
“India is moving fast 🚀, enemies are burning with jealousy 🔥!”
Laugh, learn, and support your country! 🇮🇳❤️
🙏 Jai Hind! Jai Bharat! 🎉
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
~ Yours,
Guruji 🧙♂️😇📢
Stay connected with amazinglifeblog.com—where news meets positivity! 🚀✨
Even if things don’t unfold the way you expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.
🚀 ! 🌟
Thanks for reading,
KaMaRaJ 🌈🤗❤️
vasantham.kamaraj@gmail.com
Please visit my website: amazinglifeblog.com
& erkamaraj.blogspot.com for Mind blowing articles.💡 Visit Now,
