😎 🧙♂️😂GURUJI’s COMEDY NEWS BULLETIN & India’s Super News Show!” 😎 Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️
📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄
👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.
Because the world may burn 🔥… but news will always bring the masala! 🌶️📺
“Choose happiness today and every day”
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
Here comes your Guruji’s Comedy News Punchlines – Hot headlines with a spicy twist 🌶️ 😎🧙♂️😂
News 📢) 👓 🎭
📊 World Bank keeps India growth forecast unchanged amid trade uncertainty
👉 Guruji sez: “World Bank be like: ‘India’s speed okay, just don’t overtake on global curves!’ 🛣️📉💼”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🌍 ‘Good results, very high quality meetings’: Tharoor hails his delegation’s work after 5-nation tour
👉 Guruji sez: “Tharoor toured 5 nations and still used bigger words than all of them combined! ✈️🗺️📚🧐”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
💥 India would strike deep into Pakistan if provoked by terror attacks, warns Jaishankar
👉 Guruji sez: “India’s warning is like a pressure cooker whistle—ignore it, and BOOM! 🍛🚀⚔️”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🐱 Rajnath: Pak on UNSC anti-terror panel is like cat guarding milk
👉 Guruji sez: “Wah wah! This cat ain’t guarding milk, it’s secretly sipping lassi! 🐾🥛😂”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🌡️ Delhi swelters at 43.8 degrees as heatwave pushes real-feel to 47 degrees
👉 Guruji sez: “Delhi right now: Not a city, it’s a live tandoor! 🌞🔥🍗”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
❄️ India plans to standardise air-conditioning temperature to save power
👉 Guruji sez: “AC will now have a ‘Modi Mode’: Cool outside, control inside! 🌬️📉💡”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🇮🇳 Made-in-India systems making India strategically, economically and technically strong: Rajnath Singh
👉 Guruji sez: “From jugaad to juggernaut – India’s got the upgrade patch installed! 🛠️🚀💪”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🧳 Amit Shah’s visits will boost DMK alliance in 2026, says A Raja
👉 Guruji sez: “Amit Shah visiting = DMK winning? Politics ka GPS totally confused! 📍🔄🧭😂”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🤝 Only a coalition govt will benefit TN in 2026: DMDK’s Premalatha Vijayakanth
👉 Guruji sez: “Coalition = Marriage counseling for fighting parties! 💍⚖️🤷♂️”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
👶 India’s population touches 1.46 billion, fertility drops below replacement rate: UN report
👉 Guruji sez: “Too many people, but nobody wants kids now – even India hit ‘unsubscribe’! 📉🍼🙅♂️”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
💪 India’s skilled workforce can power the ageing world
👉 Guruji sez: “World’s getting old… India’s youth now the power bank of the planet! 🔌👨💻🌍”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
📉 India’s growth outlook trimmed to 6.3% for FY26, still fastest among major economies: World Bank
👉 Guruji sez: “Even with haircut, India’s GDP running like Usain Bolt in dhoti! 🏃♂️📊📈”
News 📢) 👓 🎭
🛡️ ‘India has right to protect its citizens’, EU backs India’s counter terror measures
👉 Guruji sez: “EU finally said, ‘India, thappad maaro if needed!’ 🤝🧨🛡️”
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
✨Stay cool, stay tuned… Guruji will return tomorrow with more LOL-laced headlines! 🎭📜
📣 “News is the same… but with me, it’s insane!” 😄🧙♂️💥
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
~ Yours,
Guruji 🧙♂️😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
Stay connected with amazinglifeblog.com—where news meets positivity! 🚀✨
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KaMaRaJ 🌈🤗❤️
vasantham.kamaraj@gmail.com
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