GURUJI’s Truth bombs wrapped in laughter!, trending news, breakingnews

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour!

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺

“Choose happiness today and every day” 😄

🧘‍♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙‍♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙‍♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘‍♂️

🗞️ Truth bombs wrapped in laughter! 🎤😂

🇮🇳 “India has emerged from weakest to brightest point of BRICS under Modi!”
Guruji says: Modi turned BRICS into LED bulb – bright, energy efficient & Made in India! 💡🇮🇳😂

🔫 “Shots fired at Canada café linked to Kapil Sharma, BKI ultra claims responsibility!”
Guruji: Oye! Comedy café became action movie set! Even bullets need punchlines now! 🎭➡️🔫😂

⚖️ “SC refuses to stay Bihar voter list revision!”
Guruji: Voter list toh revision ho gaya… but Bihar’s drama is still first edition! 📋📢😅

📚 “CBSE students outperform rest of India in NCERT survey!”
Guruji: CBSE kids = Einstein with homework addiction! 📖⚡
Others = “Kya syllabus tha yaar?” 🥴📚😂

🇮🇳✈️ “Indian negotiators to visit US again to resume trade talk!”
Guruji: Our trade team getting more US stamps than NRI uncles! 😂🧳💼
Next stop: Walmart + WhatsApp group negotiation! 📲🛒

🏛️ “CM Stalin slams Palaniswami for opposing HR&CE-run colleges!”
Guruji: Political syllabus includes temple fights, not textbooks! 😅📚⛩️
Chalk pieces flying faster than manifestos! 🧱📏😂

🚗⚡ “Tesla to open first India experience center in Mumbai on July 15!”
Guruji: Elon Musk coming to India! Now Indians will test Tesla with potholes & pani puri water! 🌧️🥤🚗💥

🌎💼 “Brazil can survive without US trade, says Lula amid Trump tariff threat!”
Guruji: Brazil to US – “Bhai, we’ve got samba, soccer, and sugarcane – keep your tariff!” 💃⚽🍬😂
Lula dancing around Trump like Garba in Gujarat! 🥁🇧🇷

☕💔 “Kapil Sharma’s Café reacts to firing incident, calls it heartbreaking!”
Guruji: Comedy Café crying now… even the coffee machine stopped laughing! ☕😭🔫

🆔📄 “Govt makes Aadhaar tougher – PAN, passport details now needed!”
Guruji: Soon for Aadhaar, you’ll need family tree, DNA test & your great-grandma’s voter ID! 🧬📜🤣
Aadhaar: From “just a card” to “full biography”! 📇😂

🙏📿 Guruji’s Sign-Off Sutra:
“In world of news, choose your channel wisely – some give facts, some give comedy, and Guruji gives both with emoji!” 😎📺📿

Want more LOL News with Wisdom & Masala daily Just say:
“O Guruji, blast the bulletin!” 🎤🕶️💥

🤣📿 Guruji’s Daily Dose of LOL Wisdom 📿🤣
Straight from Himalayas (with 5G signal & a chai in hand) ☕📱🏔️

🌞 1. “Worry is like a rocking chair 🪑 – keeps you moving, but gets you nowhere!”
So stop worrying, and start dancing 💃😂

🧘‍♂️ 2. “Be like Wi-Fi 📡 – strong connection, no tension!”
But remember: too many connections = battery drain ⚡😂

💸 3. “Money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy paneer dosa! 🥳😂”
And that’s close enough for a South Indian soul! 😋😂

⏰ 4. “Time heals everything… except Monday mornings!”
Even my chakras refuse to open before coffee ☕🙈

🧠 5. “Overthinking is like chewing gum after taste is gone – pointless & sticky!”
Let go… unless you’re chewing paan – then let go fast! 😬💥

💖 6. “True love is like Wi-Fi – invisible but connects your heart… until network problem!”
Then suddenly it’s buffering… buffering… breakup! 💔📶😅

🌈 7. “Be positive – like a COVID test result you want to avoid!”
Stay away from toxic people… and crowded WhatsApp groups 😂📵

🍫 8. “Life is short – eat the chocolate first, then regret later with yoga!”
Calories can wait, joy can’t 😋🧘‍♂️

🐒 9. “Mind is like a monkey… tie it with banana of meditation!”
And if monkey gets bored – give it Instagram break 🍌📲😂

📦 10. “Don’t box yourself in – unless it’s Amazon delivery of happiness!”
Open up your mind and your parcels! 📦💥😄