📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour!
👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺
“Choose happiness today and every day” 😄
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
GURUJI’S COMEDY NEWS DARBAR – Today’s Spicy Headlines with Divine Jokes! 🤪📰
📰 “Terrorist who led Pahalgam attack killed in J&K gunfight”
🧘♂️ Guruji says:
“He attacked Pahalgam but got a one-way ticket to the afterlife! 😤🔫
Terrorism’s loan closed – bullet gave full and final settlement! 💥📦”
🧹 “Much confusion on who does what, even upkeep of drains: HC to Delhi govt”
🚽 Guruji wonders:
“Delhi drains are asking, ‘Who am I? Who is responsible for my cleaning?’ 😵♂️🕳️
Even the sewer is going through an identity crisis! 😂🚿”
🧨 “‘Homegrown’ ultras may be involved, says PC, sparks row”
🏠 Guruji’s gyan (wisdom):
“‘Made in India’ isn’t just for smartphones anymore… now for militants too?! 📱➡️💣
These terrorists are so local, even Swiggy won’t deliver them out! 🚫🛵”
🇺🇸 “Congress trusts US, but not External Affairs Minister (EAM), says Shah”
👁️🗨️ Guruji whispers:
“They believe in foreign love, but doubt their own diplomat? 🤔💔
Is this international politics or an emotional daily soap? 📺🎭”
🛍️ “At no stage of talks with US was trade tied to Sindoor: EAM”
💄 Guruji says with a forehead blessing:
“America said: No Sindoor, no trade deals! 😂💃
EAM clarified: ‘We use Sindoor for blessings, not business!’ 😇💬”
🪔❤️🔥 BONUS GURUJI QUOTE – “Keep your heart lamp alive always”
Guruji’s wisdom:
“Keep your inner light glowing, dear!
Even if the world has a power cut, you stay like a glowing LED! 💡😂❤️”
🌸🎤 GURUJI’S COMEDY MANTRA FOR A PEACEFUL LIFE 😌🤣
🧘♂️ 1. Don’t React. Just Act Like You Didn’t Hear.
“When people throw drama, Guruji wears earplugs of inner peace!” 🎧🕊️
Mantra: “Ignore like a saint, chill like a legend.”
😅 2. Expect Less, Nap More
“Peace starts when you expect less and sleep more – even from your own alarm clock!” ⏰😴
Mantra: “No expectation, only relaxation!”
🍵 3. Drink Tea, Not Tension
“Tension is like Wi-Fi — always around. But Guruji connects only to chai!” ☕😄
Mantra: “Sip silence. Slurp peace.”
🛑 4. Say NO Without Guilt
“Guruji says: ‘No’ is a full sentence — with a full stop, not a comma for debate!” 🚫📢
Mantra: “Say no, glow more!”
🐢 5. Slow Down — Even Snails Are Still Alive!
“Speed gives stress. Guruji prefers turtle-mode with turbo joy!” 🐢💃
Mantra: “Peace is not in the pace, it’s in the pause.”
📵 6. Switch Off to Switch On Your Mind
“Guruji uninstalls overthinking and downloads inner calm daily!” 💡📴
Mantra: “Log out of chaos. Log in to calm.”
🤣 7. Laugh Daily — Even If It’s at Yourself!
“Guruji laughs at his mirror image and says: ‘This guy is too serious!’” 😂🪞
Mantra: “Don’t take life seriously… it’s not giving salary!”
🪔 GURUJI’S FINAL SHAANTI SUTRA
“Peace is not outside in the Himalayas. It’s inside — behind your fridge, next to your old chocolates!” 🍫🧘♀️
Repeat after Guruji:
🕉️ “Om Chillaya Namaha… Om Let It Go Swaha!” 🧘♂️💫
🤣 Guruji signs off:
“Whether it’s politics or plumbing, everything has a comedy leak!
Stay connected… stay cheerful! 🕺📰”
📣 Guruji’s Darbar will never run out of content! 😂👑
👉enjoyhumour.blogspot.com 😇📢
👉amazinglifeblog.com! 😂📿 ✨😎 📰🤣 🧘♂️
Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
