📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

I’m your Guruji – here to serve you with a dash of humour! 😄

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👳‍♂️😂 Guruji’s English Comedy News Bulletin with Masala! 🌶️📰

1️⃣ CEC warns Rahul: Give affidavit in 7 days or apologise 📜😅
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Arrey bhakton… Rahulji thinks affidavit is Netflix subscription – always postpone, never submit! 📺🤣”

2️⃣ Maha Governor CP Radhakrishnan is NDA’s Vice-Prez candidate 🎩
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Vice-President post these days is like Ola back seat – everyone waiting for their turn! 🚖😂”

3️⃣ Ramadoss Sr becomes PMK Prez at his own meeting 🗣️
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Self-called meeting, self-announced president… Wah! This is not politics, this is solo performance orchestra! 🎻🤣”

4️⃣ Big GST Cut may Rev Up Demand for Small Cars 🚗💨
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Super news! But bhakton, road traffic won’t reduce… only EMI queues at banks will get longer! 🏦😂”

5️⃣ US keeps daily tabs on India-Pak – Marco Rubio 🇺🇸👀
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Arrey, US monitoring us daily like strict tuition master… Homework done or not! 📚🤣”

6️⃣ Building Trust for Agentic AI 🤖✨
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “AI is becoming so agentic… soon even your fridge will say, ‘Boss, don’t drink Pepsi, sugar high ho jayega!’ 🥤😂”

7️⃣ Amid Tariff Heat, Modi bats for Aatmanirbharta 🔥🇮🇳
👳‍♂️ Guruji: “PM says Krishna + Gandhi formula needed… means flute 🎶 + spinning wheel 🧵 together! Full Jugalbandhi politics! 🤣”

👳‍♂️ Guruji’s final punch:
“News channels give tension 📺😰, but Guruji gives laughter pension! 💰😂 Bhakton, enjoy & stay chill!” 🧘‍♂️✨

😂👳‍♂️ Welcome bhakton to today’s Guruji Comedy Darbar! 🎭✨
Special guest: Rahul Baba (a.k.a. Ragul) 🤴 – direct from political wonderland!

🎭 Scene: Guruji on throne with filter coffee ☕, Rahul Baba enters with papers upside down 📄🙃.

👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Arrey Rahul Baba… did you bring a manifesto or Sudoku puzzle? Looks same!” 🤓🤣

🔵 Rahul Baba: “Guruji… this is our grand plan for 2029 elections!”

👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Wah! But Baba, your 2024 plan is still searching for Google Maps! 🗺️😂”

🔵 Rahul Baba: “But Guruji, I’m fighting for democracy!” ✊

👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Fighting? Baba, you’re fighting like WiFi signal… strong in speeches, zero in connection! 📶😂”

🔵 Rahul Baba: “Guruji, I will bring revolution!” 💥

👳‍♂️ Guruji: “Yes Baba, revolution… but only inside your party WhatsApp group! 📱🤣”

👳‍♂️ Guruji Final Punch:
“Bhakton, Rahul Baba is like Windows Update – always promises progress, but shuts down at wrong time! 💻😂 Politics is circus 🎪… Guruji’s Darbar makes it stand-up show!” 🎤✨

😆🔥 Guruji Comedy News ends here!
👉 I’ll be back tomorrow… till then, “Watch the news, but don’t forget to laugh at life!” 😜🎉

👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺