Guruji Daily Masala News

📣 Dear friends, 🤹‍♂️ 📢) 👓

😂📢 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin 😎 😂🎤⚡🤣📢 🌍☕

📰 Dragon & Elephant must come together 🐉🐘
👉 Guruji says: “If they come together, jungle will become OYO rooms for global politics! 🏨🤣”

📰 2L objections in Bihar poll rolls 🗳️
👉 “In Bihar, voters’ list looks like WhatsApp group – daily someone exits, someone enters! 📱😂”

📰 Sardar Patel’s role in Hyderabad liberation 💪
👉 “If Iron Man was in Marvel, Patel was in Bharat! He didn’t need hammer, just determination! 🔨🔥”

📰 Govt mitigating US tariffs 💵
👉 “Tariff impact is like mother-in-law’s anger… You can’t remove it, only manage it! 😅👵”

📰 Don: Sunset on American Empire 🌅🇺🇸
👉 “Hollywood sequels flop… now America’s Empire sequel also struggling at box office! 🎬🍿😂”

📰 Failure is an opportunity 📉➡️📈
👉 “Guruji says: Blame is like free WiFi… once you start, it never ends! 📶🤣”

📰 PM pitches Swadeshi goods this festive season 🪔
👉 “Guruji shopping tip: Buy Made-in-India crackers – they give double noise and half price! 💥🤣”

📰 Terror a big threat to peace: PM at SCO 🔫🕊️
👉 “Guruji says: Terrorists hate peace… because it doesn’t come with WiFi or free pizza! 🍕😂”

📰 August Rush: FPI outflows $4 billion 💸
👉 “Foreign investors running faster than Chennai auto driver when you say ‘Paytm pay pannunga!’ 🏃‍♂️💨🤣”

📰 India-China Strategic Autonomy 🇮🇳🤝🇨🇳
👉 “Means: Both want friendship… but with password protection! 🔑😂”

📰 Modi stresses LAC calm; Xi agrees 🏔️
👉 “Border is calm… soldiers are playing ‘Antakshari’ instead of firing! 🎤🤣”

📰 Xi slams bullying in global order 👊🌍
👉 “Guruji says: ‘Boss, if world is a school, every country wants to be Headmaster!’ 🎓😂”

📰 Modi to host NDA MPs for dinner 🍲
👉 “Guruji prediction: After dinner, MPs will say ‘Modiji, sabzi toh mast thi, ab Vice-President bhi mast hona chahiye!’ 😋🤣”

✨ Guruji Wisdom:
👉 “Politics is like biryani 🍛 – many layers, lots of spices, and surprise bones in between! 🦴😂”

😂🙏 Guruji Speaking Time! 🎤

“Why is a Sense of Humour Important in Life?”

👉 A life without laughter is like sambar without salt! 🍛
Yes, you can eat it… but where’s the taste? 🤷‍♂️😂

👉 People without humour…
They’ll buy a bus ticket for ₹10 and travel with a serious face 😑🚌
But people with humour – same ticket becomes a free world tour! 🤣🌍

👉 Doctor says: “Laugh 10 minutes a day, your blood pressure will stay normal!” ❤️‍🩹
Guruji says: “Some people just ask the auto driver’s rate daily… BP automatically comes down!” 🚖😂

👉 Humour and Heart are best friends, boss! 💖
Laughter is like a free massage service for your heart! 👐😂

👉 A house without humour becomes a Board Meeting – full of seriousness! 🏠📊
But with humour, the house turns into a Family Comedy Serial! 📺🤣

👉 Handling life problems with humour is the real art! 🎨
If you fail an exam, serious people go into depression 😢📉
But humorous people say: “Syllabus is the same next time, only revision time has increased!” 🤓😂

⚡Guruji’s Final Punch:
👉 “Without money, you can still manage…
But without a sense of humour, you can’t even survive on Facebook!” 📱🤣