📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
🌞😂 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin – Special Edition 🎤📜
🕺 “India going full Self-Reliant Bharat mode! Modi ji says — Swadeshi shopping is the new Amazon Prime! 🇮🇳🛍️”
💸 “Income tax up to ₹12 lakh = no stress! GST reform = discounts like Flipkart sale! Double bonanza 🔥 Poor & middle class saying: ‘Now money will be saved… but still we will take loans!’ 😂💳”
🎉 “PM declared a ‘Savings Festival’ 🪔… Guruji says: ‘Firecrackers are banned, but GST crackers will explode in our wallets with savings!’ 💥🤑”
👕 “Nation urged to buy local goods… Guruji warns: ‘Instead of struggling in tight foreign jeans, tie up the Indian lungi tight!’ 😎👖➡️👘”
👉 Global Masala 🌎
✈️ “Trump’s policies may kill the India-US travel market… Guruji says: ‘Now H-1B visa means — Fly once in the air, then come straight back!’ 🤣✈️”
🇺🇸➡️🇮🇳 “America’s loss, India’s gain! Guruji declares: Self-proud India! 😂💪”
👉 Indian States News
📈 “CAG report: 16 states in revenue surplus, UP leads the pack! Guruji jokes: ‘UP has extra money? Amazing! Next election they may give free laptops with free mobile recharges too!’ 💻📶”
👉 Education Update 📚
🧑🏫 “Skill-based learning in Class 11 & 12! Guruji says: ‘Since mathematics never helped us, now after 12th the boy will become a plumber and start earning!’ 🔧😂”
👉 Tourism & Sports 🏏
☮️ “Govt says Peace is a must for Tourism & Sports. Guruji adds: ‘True… if stadiums remain peaceful, Indian cricket fans will get bored!’ 🤣🎉”
👉 Legal News ⚖️
🕊️ “Good news: Mediation Council coming soon! Guruji: ‘Now even family quarrels won’t go to court… straight to the Mediation Council! Save marriages, save lawyers!’ 😂💍”
👉 H-1B Visa Stress
🧳 “Govt assures: H-1B visa headache won’t be a headache! Guruji: ‘Meaning, now just stick Fevikwik on the passport and fly to America!’ 😂✈️”
⚡Guruji’s Closing Punch:
“Modi ji says Self-Reliant India… Guruji says — First make your soul self-reliant, then India will automatically progress! 🧘♂️🇮🇳😂”
How to make an Amazing Life?
🌸 Be quiet, but observe everything.
👉 “Silence is golden, beta… but use your eyes like CCTV camera! 👀🤫”
🌸 Be kind, but don’t be a fool.
👉 “Kind heart okay… but don’t become ATM machine for freeloaders! 💸🤦”
🌸 Be bold, but stay humble.
👉 “Roar like a lion 🦁… but don’t forget to say ‘thank you ji’ after eating samosa! 🙏😂”
🌸 Be patient, but don’t waste your time.
👉 “Waiting for bus okay… waiting for lazy friend’s life update – not okay! 🚌⏳😴”
🌸 Be helpful, but don’t be used.
👉 “Guruji helps everyone, but I’m not free delivery service! 📦🚫”
🌸 Be present, but guard your energy.
👉 “Don’t scatter like Wi-Fi signal in next street! 📡⚡”
🌸 Be forgiving, but never forget the lesson.
👉 “Forgive people, but keep the receipt! 🧾😂”
🌸 Be confident, but not arrogant.
👉 “Confidence is perfume 🌹… arrogance is mosquito coil 🌀😅”
🌸 Be focused, but stay flexible.
👉 “Target like Arjuna 🎯… but bend like yoga master! 🧘”
🌸 Be strong, but know when to rest.
👉 “Even mobile phone needs charging 🔋… why not you, beta? 😴”
Choose happiness today and every day
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
👉amazinglifeblog.com
Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
