📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
🌞😂 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin – Special Edition 🎤📜 🧑⚖️
🚨 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin 🚨 😎🔥
📰 Zoho’s Arattai App in Spotlight
👉 Guruji says: “Finally, Made in India app shining 🌟… WhatsApp shaking like vada in hot oil! 🔥📱”
📰 Major International Attacks Traced to Pak
👉 Guruji: “Breaking news 🤯… Google Maps should add shortcut: ‘From Pak → To Trouble’ 🚧💣”
📰 Yogi says Law-breakers need Denting-Painting
👉 Guruji: “Garage owners happy 😁… criminals getting free makeover 🎨🚔… next step: polish and Teflon coating!”
📰 HC on Seniors Canceling Gift Deeds
👉 Guruji: “Grandparents to grandkids: ‘No love, no iPhone, no property!’ 📱🚫🏠”
📰 Army Issues Tender for Air Defense System
👉 Guruji: “Tender is not soft roti 🫓… it’s missiles-on-wheels 😱🚀💥”
📰 Life Hard in Lanes with Fire Overhead
👉 Guruji: “In India, even death comes with overhead charges 🔥💀😂”
📰 Drones to Watch Rapid Rail
👉 Guruji: “Now even trains need CCTV in the sky 🚁🚄… soon chaiwallah will need drone license ☕🛸”
📰 EAM Slams US, Backs Russian Oil
👉 Guruji: “Petrol pump uncle: ‘Sir, you want USA octane or Russia ka strong tea?’ ⛽🫖”
📰 Rahul Gandhi’s 4-Nation Trip
👉 Guruji: “Foreign trip = Indian politics ka free Netflix season 🌍✈️… audience still sleeping 😴”
📰 996 Hustle Culture in Silicon Valley
👉 Guruji: “9am to 9pm, 6 days a week 😵… in India, this is called ‘normal job’ 👨💻☕”
📰 IBSA Slams Israel for Starvation Strategy
👉 Guruji: “War is bad, but dieting by force is worse 🍞❌… even Baba Ramdev said, ‘this yoga not recommended!’ 🧘♂️”
📰 Soros’ Son Says Over My Dead Body
👉 Guruji: “Trump: ‘Good, send GPS location!’ 📍⚰️😂”
📰 3 Years, Few Jobs – Students Protest in Karnataka
👉 Guruji: “Degrees are like papads 🍘… thin, crispy, but no gravy of jobs 😢”
📰 Allies Restless in Bihar Poll Seat Talks
👉 Guruji: “Politics is musical chairs 🎶🪑… but in Bihar, chairs are broken, only stools left! 🤣”
📰 Shah on Rahul & Lalu Wanting Votes for Infiltrators
👉 Guruji: “Infiltrators getting VIP pass to polling booth 🪪🎟️… real voters searching for Aadhaar in wallet 🤦♂️”
🙏 Guruji concludes: “News is like sambhar 🍲… hot, spicy, and always spilling on your white kurta! 😂👕”
🌸🕉️ Guruji’s Navaratri Special Jokes Darbar 🕉️🌸
(Drumroll with dhol beats 🥁💃)
😂 1. Devotee: “Guruji, why 9 days fasting?”
Guruji: “Because after 9 days, marriage season starts… tummy should be flat for selfies! 📸🍲➡️😅”
😂 2. During Garba night 💃🕺, one uncle danced so hard… FitBit thought he was escaping from lion! 🦁⌚
😂 3. Mata Rani rides a lion 🦁… but Guruji says: “In Chennai traffic, even Mata will prefer Activa scooter 🛵😆”
😂 4. Navaratri means 9 colors of dresses 👗👘🧣… But one bachelor wore the same jeans 9 days 😬… Mataji still gave him blessings, because detergent prices are high! 🧼🤑
😂 5. In Garba, one aunty shouted: “DJ, play devotional song!”
DJ: Plays “Sheila ki Jawani” 🎶😂
Guruji says: Even gods were confused—Is this bhajan or Bollywood night? 🙏➡️🎤💃
😂 6. Navaratri fasting rules:
– No onion 🧅
– No garlic 🧄
– No chicken 🍗
– No fun 😭
Guruji says: “Only thing allowed = unlimited pakoras of potato 🥔 + WhatsApp forwards 📱😂”
😂 7. Kid asked: “Guruji, why do we beat dandiya sticks?”
Choose happiness today and every day
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
👉amazinglifeblog.com
Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
