Why Trump’s Popularity Is Not Growing?

🤣 Guruji’s Take: Why Trump’s Popularity Is Not Growing! 💥

🌪️ Guruji observes that Donald Trump’s popularity graph is behaving like old Wi-Fi — strong signals in the past, but now… buffering! 😅📉

🗣️ Too much talking, not enough walking!

Trump gives more speeches than a parrot with a podcast — but voters now want “action,” not “caption!” 😜

💇‍♂️ Same hairstyle, same headlines!

Guruji says: even the hair refused to change style, how will the poll numbers change? 😆

🔥 Court cases are doing more PR than the campaign team!

Guruji observes — every court hearing is like a mini-election rally… but only judges are clapping! 👨‍⚖️😂

🧘 Karma says — what you tweet comes back as a vote defeat!

Guruji’s cosmic law of politics: “You can’t trend forever, even hashtags get tired!” 🙏😄

Guruji’s Blessing:

“Dear Trump ji, maybe try meditation instead of litigation! Popularity will rise when ego takes a nap!” 🧘‍♂️💫

🤣 🌞 Guruji’s Comedy News Bulletin – “Nation’s Laugh Engine Fully Charged!”😂

🧘‍♂️ “Previous Govts Compromised National Security for Politics,” says PM.

👉 Guruji: Arrey baba! Earlier leaders treated national security like their WhatsApp privacy settings — “Everyone” could see everything! 🔓🤣

🚗 Ford Charges Up to Make Next-generation Engines in Tamil Nadu.

👉 Guruji: Superb! Tamil Nadu now runs on filter coffee, idli, and Ford engines — full mileage, no mileage excuse! ☕🚘⚡

🌻 Ukraine Slips, Russian Sunflower Oil Sticks.

👉 Guruji: Aiyo! Even cooking oil has taken sides now — geopolitics has entered the kitchen! 🍳🛢️😂

📱 Apple’s India Harvest Peaks on iPhone Boom.

👉 Guruji: Indians buying iPhones faster than they buy apples! Newton discovered gravity, but Tim Cook discovered EMI! 🍎📲💸

👷‍♂️ NDA Promises 1 Crore Jobs, ₹3K Top-Up for Farmers.

👉 Guruji: Wah! Election season — promises are growing faster than onions! 🌾🧅💰

🎯 2 Yuvraj, 2 Most Corrupt Families: PM Hits Back at Rahul Gandhi, Tejashwi Yadav.

👉 Guruji: Wah re politics! 2 Yuvrajs, 1 nation, unlimited drama — looks like IPL meets Parliament! 🏏🎭

🗣️ “Trump says Modi is ‘like a father, a killer, tough as hell’; hints at early trade deal”

👉 Guruji: Arrey wah! Trump calling Modi “tough as hell” — looks like America finally discovered Indian father energy! 👨‍🏫

📢 “1 job per family, Rs 2,500 for women: Mahagathbandhan goes with populist playbook”

👉 Guruji: Wah re politics! Promise 1 job per family and Rs 2,500 for women — but no mention of who’ll pay for it! 😜 Maybe they’ll make husbands pay monthly “political subscription”! 💸🤣

🍶 “Tejashwi Yadav vows to legalise toddy in dry state Bihar if Mahagathbandhan wins”

👉 Guruji: Wah Tejashwi! From dry state to high spirits! 🥳 Bihar voters thinking — “At last, a policy we can drink to!” 🍾 Guruji says, “Cheers to democracy — responsibly, of course!” 😂

✈️ “‘Game changer’: Defence Minister Rajnath Singh hails SJ-100 project as civil aviation milestone”

👉 Guruji: India’s new aircraft is ready! 💪 SJ-100 — sounds like a superhero jet: “SJ-100 saves the skies while your train is still waiting for signal!” 🚄✈️

🤖 “Aye, aye? ‘AI 50% more sycophantic than humans’”

👉 Guruji: Wah! Even AI learned “Yes, Boss” culture faster than interns! 💻🙇 Soon Siri will say, “You’re always right, sir!” before answering! 😂

🎁 “From financial aid to women to IT parks, INDIA bloc promises a bag of goodies”

👉 Guruji: Politics now like Diwali offer — “Buy 1 promise, get 4 free!” 🎆💰 But remember, delivery after elections only! 😂

🌞 “Let Us Count On Our Hidden Invaluable Asset”

👉 Guruji: India’s hidden asset? — The ability to survive traffic, inflation, and politicians… with a smile! 😄🙏

🧘 “A man can become unhappy only unconsciously and not consciously.”

👉 Guruji: So if you’re sad, just wake up! 😴➡️😆 Spiritual hack 101 by Guruji!

⚾ “Trump bonds with new Japan PM over baseball and US beef”

👉 Guruji: When world leaders meet — one brings beef, the other brings belief! 🍖🤝🕉️ Guruji says, “Diplomacy is like cricket — everyone pretends to play nice till the last over!” 😂

🌞 “Embrace laughter, ease, and unhurried days.”

👉 Guruji: Perfect! But in Indian traffic, “unhurried days” come free! 🛵⛔ Just sit, smile, and enjoy the horn orchestra! 🎺😂

💥 Guruji’s Final Blessing:

“Politics is like masala dosa — crisp outside, mystery filling inside! Eat carefully, vote wisely, and always keep a sense of humour!” 😄🥣🙏

“May your Wi-Fi be strong, your stress be weak, and your laughter automatic!” 😄🙏💫