😎 Funny Headlines ! 🎭 English Masala Edition 🌶️
📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
I’m your Guruji – here to serve you the hottest news with a dash of humour! 😄
👓 Read it. 😂 Laugh it. 🗣️ Share it.! 🌶️📺
“Choose happiness today and every day”
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
🚨 Guruji’s Comedy Bulletin 🚨
🎙️ “Breaking news with broken logic and a spoonful of sarcasm!” 😜📰
🧠 ChatGPT CEO Sam Altman says people blindly trust AI
👉 Guruji: Arrey baba! Even my neighbor blindly trusts her parrot for lottery numbers! 🦜💸
AI = Artificial Intelligence, not Astrological Instinct! 😂🤖🔮
🚀 “It has been a wonderful ride,” says astronaut Shubhanshu from space
👉 Guruji: Sir, even Chennai auto drivers say that after overcharging ₹500 for 3km! 🌌🛺💥
🕍 Netanyahu asks court to postpone trial citing “national security”
👉 Guruji: Wah! When caught red-handed, just shout “Desh in danger!” and skip court like a pro! 🇮🇱📜🎭
💰 India’s defence exports on the rise; windfall expected
👉 Guruji: Now selling tanks and missiles like Diwali crackers! Buy 2 bombs, get 1 border tension free! 🎇💣📈
🍫 Nestlé India CMD: “Crisis is the new normal”
👉 Guruji: Then stop calling it a crisis! Just say, “Everyday is April Fool’s Day now!” 🍫🤦♂️🎢
👔 India Inc looking for leaders who thrive under pressure
👉 Guruji: Basically, looking for people who smile while everything is on fire! 🔥😅📉
💻 IT companies: Big bench strength era may be over
👉 Guruji: So, no more paid naps and free coffee while “waiting for projects”? Time to Ctrl+Alt+Retire! 💤☕🧑💻
💸 Trump wants drones & missiles, not F-35s in $893B budget
👉 Guruji: Someone give him a toy drone and a water gun… Save billions and reduce tantrums! 🇺🇸🛸💥
🧓 Rahul Gandhi: Congress will ensure respect for backwards
👉 Guruji: Good plan. But first, Congress needs to find its forward button! 🧭👣🗳️
🚘 Sena MP’s driver gets ₹150cr land ‘gift’
👉 Guruji: Even my auto driver just gave me a glare for not tipping ₹10! 🚕🎁🤯
🌍 Astronaut Shux: Seeing Earth from space is humbling
👉 Guruji: Of course! From up there, even Delhi traffic looks peaceful! 🌐🛰️🧘
👽 Rakesh Sharma: Space travel alters worldview
👉 Guruji: After seeing Earth from space, even mother-in-law problems look tiny! 🛸👀🌍
🕊️ Rajnath: Peace & prosperity can’t coexist with terrorism
👉 Guruji: True! It’s like trying to do yoga in the middle of a mosh pit! 🧘🧨🚫
🗣️ Amit Shah: Use local languages in government work
👉 Guruji: Finally! Time to see “passport office” written as “Paasamport Kaaryalayam”! 😄📜🗃️
🤖 Tata Sons to set up ₹500cr trust for AI crash victims’ families
👉 Guruji: AI may be artificial, but the emotions of compensation are real! 💔💻💐
📱 US visa applicants must list social media info
👉 Guruji: Better delete those “I hate Mondays” memes before applying! 😬📲🛂
🛎️ Guruji’s Advice: Trust logic, not just tech! And next time your driver gets ₹150 crore… just ask him for WiFi password at least! 😂💼📡
👉 Stay tuned, stay smiling! 😄📺
📢 stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
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