📣 Dear friends, 🤹♂️ 📢) 👓
🌞😂 Guruji Comedy News Bulletin – Special Edition 🎤📜
👉 Modi to launch 1,840 km frontier highway in Arunachal 🚗🏔️
Guruji: “1,840 km road? Ayyo, even my relatives don’t visit me after 18 km 🌧️😂
👉 Committee to study illegal immigration gets Cabinet nod 🛂✍️
Guruji: “Committees in India are like WhatsApp groups… everyone joins, nobody solves!” 📱🤣
👉 Rajnath: India has shaped own destiny 🇮🇳✨
Guruji: “True true! Earlier destiny shaped India… now India is shaping destiny. 💇♂️😂
👉 Pitroda says: I feel at home in Pak, no need to fight 🕌🤝
Guruji: “Sir, if you feel at home in Pakistan, then at least pay rent in dollars! Don’t make India your PG hostel!” 💸🤣
👉 Muslim man can have multiple wives only if justice to all: HC 👰👰👰⚖️
Guruji: “Justice to all wives? Even one wife is Supreme Court, High Court, District Court combined!” 😂📜
👉 Mehbooba writes to Shah for separatist mercy 📝🙏
Guruji: “Writing letter to Amit Shah for mercy? That’s like writing to traffic police for free parking in Marina Beach!” 🚦😂
👉 Peace is not just absence of war ☮️🕊️
Guruji: “Correct! Peace is also absence of mother-in-law in the house!” 😂👵
👉 Meditation is no longer a luxury but a necessity 🧘♂️✨
Guruji: “Yes yes… in traffic jam, meditation saves BP… otherwise even auto driver becomes Bhagwan in your eyes!” 🚖😂
👉 Sebi verdict in Hindenburg probe lifts Adani stocks 📈💼
Guruji: “Adani shares going up like my neighbour’s electricity bill… one shock and straight to heaven!” ⚡😂
👉 US eyes port in Bangladesh for Bay of Bengal presence ⚓🇺🇸
Guruji: “US looking for port in Bangladesh… meanwhile I’m still searching for port in my own mobile charger!” 🔌🤣
👉 BJP plays infiltration card in Bihar for first time 🗳️🛂
Guruji: “Election card game! Bihar politics now UNO reverse card, infiltration card, and joker card all together!” 🎴😂
⚡Guruji Punchline: “News is like biryani… some spicy, some salty, some total gas trouble! 🌶️🍚💨 Stay tuned, tomorrow Guruji will serve fresh plate!” 😂🙏
How to Stay Focused and Unstoppable?
😎🎤 Guruji Teaching: How to Stay Focused and Unstoppable 🚀😂
👋 Arrey my dear disciples… listen carefully! Focus is like Wi-Fi signal 📶… sometimes strong, sometimes weak, sometimes neighbour is using your password and you don’t even know! 😂
👉 Step 1: Kill Distractions
Guruji says: “Distraction is like mosquitoes 🦟… small, irritating, and they come exactly when you’re meditating or studying. Solution? Use mental Odomos! Block Netflix, mute WhatsApp family group, and stop checking if your crush liked your post! 😏”
👉 Step 2: One Task at a Time
“Multitasking is a fancy word for messing up everything together! 😅 Do one thing like a laser beam 🔦… not like tube light flickering during power cut!”
👉 Step 3: Build Energy
“Focus needs fuel! Drink water 💧, sleep well 😴, eat healthy 🥦. Don’t expect concentration if your stomach is hosting Diwali crackers of samosa, jalebi, and 3 cups of chai!” 🤯🔥
👉 Step 4: Small Goals = Big Victory
“Even Everest was climbed step by step 🏔️. So start with small goals… like 30 minutes study, or 10 push-ups 💪. Don’t suddenly decide to read Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana, and income tax law in one night!” 😂📚
👉 Step 5: Protect Your Mind
“Negative people are like pop-up ads 😒… always saying, ‘You can’t do it’. Just click X in your brain and move on! 🚫”
👉 Step 6: Consistency = Superpower
“Guruji’s formula: Small effort × Daily repetition = Big miracle 🌟. Even ants reach sugar jar one step at a time… so why not you?” 🐜🍬
💥 Guruji’s Wisdom Thought:
“Be focused like Wi-Fi, unstoppable like Swiggy delivery boy in rain, and powerful like politician during election time! 😂⚡ Stay sharp, stay funny, stay Guruji-style unstoppable!” 🚀🔥
Choose happiness today and every day
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
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Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
