🤣 Guruji’s Comedy News Bulletin – Diwali Dhamaka with Defence, Drama & Dosas! 🤣
🔥 PM celebrates Diwali on INS Vikrant, calls for self-reliance in defence!
👉 Guruji says: “Arrey wah! PM doing Diwali on a warship — talk about fireworks with torpedoes! 💣😂
💣 ‘Sleepless nights for Pakistan,’ says PM while praising INS Vikrant!
👉 Guruji chuckles: “Pakistan not sleeping since 1947 only, now insomnia level — ‘Vikrant Edition!’ 😆When our ship sails, their alarm bells ring louder than DJ remix. in a wedding baraat!” 🥁💥
💪 Bihar Election — Two Bahubalis flexing muscles in Mokama!
👉 Guruji laughs: “Election or WWE SmackDown? 🤼♂️
In Bihar politics, manifesto comes second… biceps come first! 💪🤣
Vote bank becomes gym bank — whoever lifts more, gets more!” 🏋️♂️
🧠 Scientists say strong social connections slow ageing and lower inflammation!
👉 Guruji winks: “So next time your friend calls you at 2 AM to gossip, don’t shout — say ‘Thank you for my anti-ageing therapy!’ 😄📞😂❤️
🍬 Ghantewala sweet shop owner tells Rahul Gandhi — ‘Most eligible bachelor, please get married soon!’
👉 Guruji says: “Arrey wah! Even laddus want to attend Rahul Baba’s wedding! 🍡😂
🏥 Take your health seriously and buy good health insurance!
👉 Guruji advises: “Yes yes! Don’t wait till your BP starts doing Bhangra! 💃😅
Health insurance is like a parachute — if you don’t have it when needed, you’ll fall faster than your mobile without cover! 📱💥 📞🏥
Minister Duraimurugan says — “A party leader must have eyes all over his body!” 👁️👁️👁️
👉 Guruji says: “Ayyo! Then our politicians will soon look like CCTV towers in dhoti! 😆
Governor Bose declares — “Women are not safe in West Bengal.” 🚨
👉 Guruji sighs: “Aiyo! In our country, even goddesses need Z+ security these days! 🙏
🌈 Guruji’s Final Blessing:
“May all leaders get wisdom in bulk… and may every woman walk like a queen, not like a question mark!” 👑✨
💞 Love Tips for Couples to Feel Paradise on Earth — Guruji Style! 🌴😂
🌹 1. Talk Less, Laugh More! 😄
Guruji says, “When you talk too much, you fight. When you laugh too much, you forget why you fought!”
So instead of arguing about who left the towel on the bed, make a towel joke and wrap each other in it! 💋
🍛 2. Keep the Rasam Hot and the Romance Hotter! 🔥
Dinner shouldn’t feel like a UN meeting! Add a spoon of humor and a pinch of flirting to every meal.
Guruji’s tip: “If she cooks well, praise her like a MasterChef judge. If she doesn’t… praise her even louder — because you want to live another day.” 😂
🌙 3. Date Night = Reboot Night! 💃
Every week, reboot your romance like a smartphone update.
Delete “old grudges,” clear “emotional cache,” and install “latest love patches.” ❤️
💖 4. Give Compliments, Not Complaints! 🥰
Guruji says: “Every woman needs three vitamins daily — Vitamin L (Love), Vitamin P (Patience), and Vitamin OMG-you-look-gorgeous!”
And men? Just feed them peace, parotta, and praise — they’ll be yours forever! 🤭
🌈 5. Fight Fair — Not Like WWE! 🤼♂️
Disagree? Sure. But remember, it’s not a war, it’s a weather report! 🌦️
Storms come, but sunshine follows when you say “Sorry” before she finishes saying “You never listen!” 😅
🪔 6. Touch More, Judge Less! 🤗
A hug in the morning is better than 10 WhatsApp forwards of “Good Morning.”
Guruji says, “Your touch is the divine Wi-Fi — keep the connection strong!” 📶❤️
💬 7. Keep Flirting — Even After 25 Years! 😘
Marriage without flirting is like a Diwali without sweets.
So call her “My Queen,” even when she’s in a face pack, and she’ll call you “My King,” even when you’re snoring like a tractor. 🚜😂
🌺 8. Remember: Love is a Daily Pooja! 🪔
Guruji concludes: “Don’t worship your partner with flowers only on anniversaries — worship them with kindness every single day.” 💞
💫 Guruji’s Final Blessing:
May your fights be funny, your kisses be spicy, and your love story trend on Instagram without filters! 📸😂
Choose Happiness Today And Every Day
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
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Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
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