🎆 Guruji’s Diwali Wishes 2025 🎇
🤣 wishing you and your family a joyous Diwali 🎇
😎💥 May this Diwali brighten your life with happiness, health, and wealth. 💡😂”
🤣 Guruji’s Global Comedy Bulletin! 🌍🧘♂️✨— “Sweets, Missiles & Misunderstandings!” 🍬🚀😄
🎙️🪔 Solar Sakhi Shines in Villages!
Guruji says, These Sakhis are teaching villagers how to use sunlight better than husbands use torchlight during power cuts! ☀️😂”
🤖 Google AI Hub — A Turning Point, Not a Trophy!
Guruji chuckles, “AI hub is not a trophy, but soon humans will be the trophies — proudly displayed in museums labelled ‘Once a Working Species!’ 🤯🏆”
🥇 Gold Brightest on Dhanteras Eve!
Guruji laughs, “On Dhanteras, gold prices shine brighter than people’s faces after checking their credit card bill the next day! 💳✨😂”
🚄 Rajnath & UP CM Flag Off BrahMos Made in Lucknow!
Guruji grins, “Finally, Lucknow’s Tehzeeb met Missile Speed! Even kebabs are scared — ‘What if BrahMos delivers them before they’re cooked!’ 🍢🚀😆”
💣 Rajnath Singh on BrahMos: ‘Every inch of Pakistan in range!’
Guruji whispers, “When Rajnathji says ‘Operation Sindoor’ is just a trailer, Pakistan better start booking tickets for the full movie release! 🎬🔥”
⚖️ Delhi High Court: No Alimony for Financially Independent Spouse!
Guruji smiles, “Court said if you can swipe your own card, don’t swipe your ex’s peace of mind! 💳💔🤣”
🌍 Trump Says: ‘Easy for Me to Solve Pakistan-Afghanistan Conflict!’
Guruji says, “He also said he can fix climate change, hair loss, and Twitter! Just waiting for him to fix his own speeches first! 🎤🌀😂”
🍯 Organic Tag Gives Business Women Sweet Success!
Guruji notes, “They’re selling organic honey, not corporate excuses — pure, natural, and sweeter than husbands after salary credit day! 🍯💰😜”
🪧 ‘No Kings’: 7 Million Americans Protest Against Trump!
Guruji chuckles, “They said ‘No Kings!’ but Trump still wants a crown — maybe of orange peels! 👑🍊🤣”
🦃 Thanksgiving Trouble: Food Stamp Cuts Hit Millions!
Guruji sighs, “Now Americans are asking, ‘If turkey is expensive, can we at least eat AI-generated one?’ 🦃💻😂”
📈 India to Record Positive Export Growth: Goyal!
Guruji smiles, “Exports rising, spirits flying — even onions thinking of applying for passports! 🧅✈️😆”
🍬 Conscious Celebrations: Share Sweets, Not Guilt!
Guruji ends with, “Eat guilt-free laddus, my friends! Calories can be burned… but gossip about who ate more — that lives forever! 😋🔥🤣”
🕉️ Stay tuned, stay funny — because in Guruji’s world, even serious news comes with a ladoo of laughter! 🍭😂
How to Avoid a Quarrel Between Husband and Wife?
🎙️🌸 Guruji’s Divine Opening Thought:🚀❤️😂
“My dear couples, remember — marriage is not a boxing ring, it’s a three-legged race! If one kicks, both fall!” 🥴👫
💥 1. Don’t Argue When Hungry 🍛
Guruji says, “A hungry human is half human, half volcano! 🌋
If your stomach is empty, even ‘Good Morning’ sounds like ‘Fight Invitation!’ 😡”
👉 Rule: First eat, then speak. Otherwise, you’ll be chewing your words later! 😜
😇 2. Learn the Art of Selective Hearing 🎧
Guruji smiles, “When your spouse shouts, pretend your Wi-Fi signal dropped! 📶
Half of marriage peace comes from ignoring small explosions!” 💣😂
🧘 3. Never Say ‘My Mother Told Me So!’
Guruji warns, “If you bring your mother into the debate, you’re inviting World War Maa! 😱
Use wisdom, not relatives!” 👵🕊️
💐 4. Praise More, Complain Less 💬
“Dear husbands, instead of saying, ‘Salt is less’, say ‘Your love is enough to flavor the world!’ 💞
And dear wives, instead of saying, ‘You’re lazy’, say ‘You rest like a saint in deep meditation!’ 🧘♂️😂”
🕰️ 5. Timing Is Everything ⏰
“Don’t start serious discussions when one foot is in office and the other on the scooter! 🏍️
A husband’s brain has only one parking space — use it wisely!” 😆
🧊 6. Cool Down Before Responding ❄️
Guruji advises, “Before replying to an angry message, drink water, not petrol! 💧🔥
Silence for 10 minutes saves 10 hours of drama!” 🎭
💋 7. End Every Fight with a Smile (or Ice Cream) 🍨
Guruji says, “No quarrel can survive the power of dessert! Feed each other something sweet — because calories unite what egos divide! 🍫😂”
🌹 Guruji’s Final Blessing:
“Marriage is not about who is right…
It’s about who is left — after all the arguments!” 😇
So, next time your spouse gets angry, just say softly —
‘Let’s fight tomorrow… today, let’s love!’ ❤️🔥
Choose Happiness Today And Every Day
🧘♂️ 😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
📢 “Stay informed, stay hilarious – Guruji guarantees no boredom!” 💥🎉
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Yours,
📘🖊️😄 “GuRuJi – KaMaRaJ” 🎭👴✨ 😇📢
😎 🤓 🧙♂️😂😜 🤪 😏 🥴 🤯 🥴 😏 🤪 😜😂 🧙♂️ 🤓 😎 🧘♂️
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